Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Randomize
