Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
