Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
