margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
