I wish I only lived at night.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
