omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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