Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
