If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize