i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize