umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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