The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
