Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
