i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
