CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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