Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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