God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
