She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
