no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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