I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
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We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
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Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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