Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
