i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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