I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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