If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
