So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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