I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
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No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
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Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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