Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
