i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
