Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
