I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
