ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
