she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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