Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
