We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
