uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
