soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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