ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
