i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
