Are we in a gay sports bar?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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