Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
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the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
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laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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