i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize