Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
