All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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