I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
