Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize