The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
