im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
He kissed a someone with a penis
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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