You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
These tits shall not be calmed
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