can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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