At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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