Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
