Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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