i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he fucked my hip out of place.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
