On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
