i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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