There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
