whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
