why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
