I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
