Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
