So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
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I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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