I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
