I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
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I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
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Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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